FyodorBoogies
I’ve named my favourite, but you’ll have to read on to find out. Don’t get your hopes up for some obscure choice: I’m no rock snob, and I *like* pop music.
Hold On, Wilson Phillips Nauseatingly wet “break-through” single by nepotistically gifted trio, comprising “hot blonde”, “boring brunette” and “nice fat chick”. Forever redeemed by Harold and Kumar’s performance. Now makes me laugh insanely whenever I hear it. Mwahahaha.
2. It Must Have Been Love, Roxette
Pretty Woman Soundtrack. The film turned shite into gold and made prostitution look glamorous to teenage girls around the world, but particularly West Beverly Hills High. Created Julia Roberts™.
3. Nothing Compares 2 U, Sinead O'Connor
FANTASTIC film-clip. You know Mother Sinead is a nutter ‘cos she really feels this song. Incredibly powerful performance from an emotional fruitcake, and one of the few son
3. Nothing Compares 2 U, Sinead O'Connor
FANTASTIC film-clip. You know Mother Sinead is a nutter ‘cos she really feels this song. Incredibly powerful performance from an emotional fruitcake, and one of the few songs that works much better with the video clip than without.
5. Vogue, Madonna
Anthem for a new “dance” craze that lasted about a nanosecond. Peak of Madonna’s hedonistic self-absorption, before she got all religious ‘n’ shit, when she became religiously self-absorbed. I like Madonna, but hate this song.
6. Vision Of Love, Mariah Carey
Hate Mariah Carey.
7. Another Day In Paradise, Phil Collins
Hate Phil Collins.
9. Cradle Of Love, Billy Idol
Attempt to restart career killed off by his motorbike crash. I like Billy Idol. A lot.
10. Blaze Of Glory, Jon Bon Jovi
Hate Bon Jovi. The girls’ choice in metal, a musical genre which by this stage had morphed into fluoro cock-rock [see Poison at #33].
12. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You, Michael Bolton
Hate Michael Bolton.
13. Pump Up The Jam, Technotronic
First major “house” music success in America. I much prefer “Paid in Full”, by Eric B. and Rakim, but that came out earlier, and wasn’t as successful in backward USA.
14. Opposites Attract, Paula Abdul
Innovative film clip, fusing cartoon animation and live action. Hate the song and the artist.
15. Escapade, Janet Jackson
A huge year for Janet Jackson [see #39, #45, #50, #60]. Hate her.
16. All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You, Heart
Sperm thieves! Ask your sisters to explain.
17. Close To You, Maxi Priest
My favourite on this list. It’s fromage frais, but I really love this song.
18. Black Velvet, Alannah Myles
Canadian two-hit wonder. OK song, but I prefer her other single from the same album, “Love is”, which was far better, and she much raunchier. Her video had the predictable effect on this 17-year old.
20. Don't Know Much, Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville
Most over-played song of the year. Hate it and them.
21. All Around The World, Lisa Stansfield
Great voice, but she wasn’t black enough to carry it off in America. Like her and the song.
25. She Ain't Worth It, Glenn Medeiros Featuring Bobby Brown
V. cheesy one-hit-wonder, but real up-tempo dance beat. Great video clip, too, with many athletic nubile female dancers…
33. Unskinny Bop, Poison
Fluoro cock-rock, from the epitome of skinny, made-up ponces that would have been torn apart by the likes of Lemmy from Motörhead. An utter abomination of the “metal” genre. Hate them, needless to say.
36. We Didn't Start The Fire, Billy Joel
A mate of mine in high school asserted to me that this song teaches you everything you need to know about history. I don’t know much, but I know he knows less. Crap song.
38. Downtown Train, Rod Stewart
One of the Rod’s earlier cheesy ripoffs of classic songs.
41. Roam, B-52's
Not Rock Lobster. ‘Nuff said.
43. Back To Life, Soul II Soul
Cool Brit soul.
46. Ice Ice Baby, Vanilla Ice
This man’s real name is Robert Van Winkle. I think Vanilla Ice was an improvement, although I reckon Hip Van Winkle would have been a kewl handle. The song is so tragic and nostalgic I can’t help but like it.
47. Blame It On The Rain, Milli Vanilli
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA * cough * HAHAHAHAHA
The ugly side of globalization: a black Guadeloupian and black German lip-synch the performance of some black Americans, singing songs written by a white German. Hate it and them.
56. U Can't Touch This, M.C. Hammer
STOP! HAMMER TIME!!! “Hammer” pants, running man dance and, best of all, Superfreak sampling. This song IS 1990.
62. Janie's Got A Gun, Aerosmith
Angsty abused teenager song from over-the-hill drug fiends. Cool.
75. Epic, Faith No More
Their best song, IMO, apart from their take on Lionel Richie’s ”Easy”.
81. Everybody Everybody, Black Box
Sung by a fat black American woman, “performed” on video by a skinny black French model, with production by a bunch of clever but ugly Italian blokes. Gotta love globalisation.
85. C'mon and Get My Love, D-Mob With Cathy Dennis
A real “UP” song. Great dance track.
89. Make You Sweat, Keith Sweat
Really sleazy RnB. This is a good thing, BTW.
=======================
Conclusion: not too bad a year, all up, but not great either.
Unless they’ve been boinged! already, I tag The Obmeister2000, Liam “Haiku” Hogan and Pipsqueak.
- posted by FuschiaReads @ 1:23 PM
Comments:
# posted by
Anonymous : 6:02 PM
oooh Fyodor keep chanelling Darcy. it suits you. baby!
# posted by
worldpeace and a speedboat : 11:02 PM
# posted by
BwcaBrownie : 10:50 AM
Have to mention that at first the Sinead O'Connor song was an instant loathe for me, until I learned that Prince wrote it, and couldn't get it to work. Superstar fails, and some bald headed Irish chick takes it and makes it cult. Yes, yes - my baldheadedness of March was purely in tribute to her. 15 years late.
Maxi Priest! Ah it's a strong man who will admit his affection for fromage frais, but we'll order this little dish with two spoons, if that's okay with you.
But I will remain loyal to Black Velvet for the entirety of my life.
Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell
Jimmy Rogers on the victrola up high
Mama's dancing with baby on her shoulder
The Sun is setting like molasses in the sky.
How could you go past it? The sheer mode of the music was infinitely more compelling than "Love Is" which i always saw as a chart single sell-out.
Right.
My sword is drawn! My list is on For Battle! Do your worst...
# posted by
Pip : 5:28 AM
You should review more stuff.
1990 was a great year and, once again, I remember most of the tracks.
The piano blowing up at the end of the Epic film clip was totally tops and in the recent Delta Goodrem filmclip that has her playing at a burning piano I was hoping that it would do the same and take her with it.
Sadly not.
We studied the lyrics of 'We didn't start the fire' in US and CIS relations in 1993. A very useful nuemonic.
Yeah, Aaron Neville's voice was just plain wrong in that duet. This was also the film clip that taught me about nose reconstructions from snorting too much coke. Go Linda!
"Her video had the predictable effect on this 17-year old."
The boots. Man, the boots. When Cate Blanchett was interviewed on Enough Rope a couple months back she had very similar boots: mid thigh moleskins and everything.
Oh, and "Hi Fuschia! Forgive my intense denseness but Fyodor explained who you were. How crap am I?"
regards,
Harry
# posted by
harry : 4:14 PM
# posted by
FuschiaReads : 5:14 PM
# posted by
harry : 4:02 PM
Post-script: I am writing from an Internet cafe. Next to me sits the sickest man in Australia. He is a festering factory of phlegm.
That is all.
# posted by
Anonymous : 1:39 PM
# posted by
Anonymous : 5:46 PM
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